my reading journey: how books have shaped my life.

I have been an avid reader ever since I was a child. Even before I could make sense of the letters on the page, my mother read me book after book (which she has sworn up and down is the reason I have such a passion for literature). My mother was an English major during her time in college, and enjoys her own books as well, so maybe it's just in my blood.

In school, especially elementary school, I absolutely excelled in reading. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I do want to give you the entire picture. By the time I graduated fifth grade, I was testing into college level reading comprehension. So, not only was it something I enjoyed, but something that I was good at. It was a recipe for me to keep my reading momentum, because who would want to do something that they aren't good at? I'm not that girl for sure.

Some of the earlier memories I have surrounding reading are spending hours (I'm not joking) in the library, reading snippets of books to see if I would like them. I would borrow as many books as allowed, and my first debtor experience was having to pay the late fees on my rentals. There was time that my mom kicked me out of the house for an afternoon when I was probably in 3rd grade. She had determined that I'd been indoors for far too long, and was overdue for some fresh air and sunshine.

"Walk around the block a few times and see if there are any kids to play with." In response, I stuffed a novel up my shirt and tucked it into the waistband of my pants. I walked approximately one half of a block north, stowed myself behind a retaining wall of a neighbors yard outside of my mother's view, and read for two hours. When I came home I regaled my mother a tale of four square victory against the neighbor kids, all of which was a lie. #worthit

Not only are books pure entertainment, but they are an escape from reality. I don't know about you, but even as a child I've been bored. Bored with school, bored with family, uninterested in doing sports or acting a poor man's version of a musical in a high school auditorium. None of that has ever kept my attention. But with books, I can fall inside of an entirely new world, one where I have to learn the hierarchies, histories, and culture inside and out. I've stayed up until 5 am reading a good book, and I have yet to find another activity that gratifies me the same way.

When I read, it's like a movie inside my mind. I can quite literally see the scenes unfold behind my eyelids. That's the best way I can describe it- like a movie, but better. You can see the inner workings of the characters, hear their thought processes. You know them like they know themselves. Better even sometimes- something that I thought would translate into the real world, with real people.

I've mentioned my impossibly high standards in a previous post, and while I can't entirely put the blame on my reading habit, it's definitely compounded by it. When you live inside the mind of a warrior princess who can find fiercely loyal friends and her soulmate all while defending the world from evil, life is pretty disappointing when you feel like all you can find are half ass friends and boys who aren't even kind, let alone handsome (not talking about Matt here, he is gorgeous and kind and amazing but he is NOT an accurate representation of the general male populace). For awhile, I took this blow hard. I was devastated when I felt like friendships never gave me a return on investment, I felt like I must not be the type of girl that attracts decent friends/men. Something must be wrong with me because if I am giving all of this effort into being good to others, and others don't seem to want to do the same for me.

Living life behind rose colored glasses can have it's down falls. Having better friends in books rather than in real life is a bitter pill.

After a few months of therapy, I realized that life will almost never be as good as the books about life are. I love the artistry of creating your own world, but now I know not to hope to be made into a vampire princess somehow. Kinda embarrassing, but I literally grew up praying that I would get a letter from Hogwarts on my eleventh birthday so there were signs that I was blurring the lines between fiction and reality for awhile, lol. I wanted to emulate the amazing relationships these (made up!!!!!) characters had, and most people are not up to the task (enter my very own Prince Charming, Matthew). Poor girl had some lessons to learn, and unfortunately in my last few years of college my reading slowed down immensely because I needed to stop leaning on grand stories to get me through the mundane.

Now, I am re-discovering my passion again. But I haven't found a book that made me just keep reading yet. I've just finished 'The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue' by V. E. Schwab and am working on finishing 'Mad Honey' written by Jody Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan for this weekend's bookclub. So far MH is my fav of the two, just because the story is more compelling to me, but, anyway, this isn't a book review (although those are coming soon).

That all said- PLEASE GIVE ME BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS. I refuse to be one of those people who used to adore reading when they were younger, and suddenly hasn't picked up a book in years. I love fiction (fantasy, historical, romance, pretty much all of it) but I am also a sucker for a memoir or biography. Honestly, if you loved a book, any book, just throw it in the comments and I can determine for myself if it lands on my "want to read" list. I'm so excited to go on this journey with you all.

Thanks friends, ttyl <3